Journal
What parents hear from a teenager's therapist
A teenager's hour is private, a parent consents to it, and a few things are never kept secret. How that balance works.
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The question most parents ask first is whether the therapist will tell them what their teenager says. The honest answer is in two halves: mostly no, and sometimes yes, and both halves are explained to the family before the first session ends.
This article is about how that balance works, so that a parent and a teenager can walk in knowing what to expect.
Who books, and who consents
Teenagers, with a parent's consent. We see teenagers aged 13 to 17. A parent or legal guardian books the first session and consents to treatment, and usually joins part of it. What a teenager says in therapy stays private, with a few exceptions we explain to the family at the start, such as a risk of serious harm.
Maricel Dizon sees teenagers here. Maricel meets a parent or guardian at the start, explains together with the teenager what stays private and what can't, and sees the family together when it helps.
A parent's consent is part of beginning, and a parent's presence at the start is part of how a teenager comes to trust the hour that follows.
Why the hour is private
A teenager who suspects that every sentence will be reported back will say less, and then therapy has little to work with. The privacy of the hour is not a favor to the teenager at the parent's expense. It is what lets the work happen at all.
Most of what a teenager says is about ordinary things: school, friends, a teacher, a family argument, how they feel in their body or about themselves. A parent who hears about all of it from the therapist would soon have a teenager who stopped telling the therapist anything.
What is never kept secret
Privacy has limits, and the family is told what they are at the start. These are the limits this practice sets out for every client:
With your written permission
We share information with somebody else — a doctor, a school, a family member — only when you have said so in writing, and only what you agreed to.
If a child may be at risk
Every clinician here is required by law to report a reasonable suspicion that a child they see in their work is being abused or maltreated (Social Services Law § 413).
If someone may be seriously harmed
When, in a clinician's professional judgment, a client is likely to do something that would seriously harm themselves or someone else, the clinician must report it to the county's director of community services (Mental Hygiene Law § 9.46).
If a court orders it
What you say to a social worker is privileged in court, with exceptions the law lists, among them a plan to commit a crime or a harmful act (CPLR 4508). A subpoena alone is not an order, and we would talk to you first.
If you use your insurance
If you send our statement to your insurer for out-of-network reimbursement, the insurer sees the dates, the fee and the codes on it. That is your choice, and it does not waive anything else (CPLR 4508).
In short: a few things are never kept secret, a risk of serious harm is the clearest, and all of them are said in advance. Being told the rule of the room before anything is said in it is not a breach of trust.
Records are a separate question, and the law speaks to it:
- N.Y. Public Health Law § 18 (opens the source in a new tab) A parent may ask for a minor's records, and a provider may refuse where access would harm its relationship with the young person, who may be told and may object.
What a parent can ask the therapist
What will you tell me, and when?
A clear answer here is worth more than any reassurance. Ask it at the start, with your teenager present.
What will you do if you are worried about something?
A good clinician describes what they would do and whom they would tell, in general terms, before it happens.
How will I know whether it is helping?
Ask for the kind of update that does not reveal what was said: whether sessions are being kept, whether the work has a direction, whether anything is needed from home.
What do you need from me?
Sometimes the answer is nothing but patience and a ride to the appointment. Sometimes it is a family session. Either way it is useful to know.
What helps at home
Resist the urge to ask for a report after a session. A teenager who has just talked for fifty minutes often has nothing left to say, and being asked can feel like being asked to hand over what was theirs.
A short, ordinary question works better than a big one: how was it, or do you want to talk or not. And if the answer is not much, that is an answer. Keep the appointment time protected, so the hour is not squeezed between other things.
If your teenager does not want to go, tell the clinician at the start. It is common, and it is a reason to talk about how to begin, not a reason to give up.
If you are a teenager reading this
If you're a teenager reading this. A teenager can't book here on their own: in a private practice like this one, New York needs a parent's or guardian's consent for treatment. If you're a teenager and you need to talk to someone now, call or text 988 — it's free, it's confidential, and you don't need anybody's permission — or talk to your school counselor.
If you need help now. If you're in danger right now, call 911. For a mental health crisis, call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org, 24 hours a day; veterans can call 988 and press 1. You can also text HOME to 741741. Our phone and messages are not monitored outside office hours, and this website is not an emergency service.
General information, not advice for you. Nothing on this website can tell you what is going on for you. A diagnosis, where one is needed, comes from a clinician who has met you — never from a page, a quiz or a booking form.
Book a free call
Book a free fifteen-minute call, or go straight to a first session if you know what you want. Nothing is paid online, and nothing on the form asks why you're coming.